Family is the strength behind which I know I can fall.  The last couple days have been extremely hard and I know I am changing stages in my grief.  Everyone told me the anger would come, but I didn't believe them.  How could I be angry with Kevin, or even with God?  But anger has hit me hard.  I loved Kevin with all my heart and soul and I am angry that he left me to feel this way.  I have been feeling guilty for so long about going to school, but I have finally realized that we made that decision together and he wanted me to succeed in life just as much as wanted him to.  We needed to build our careers in order to live the life we wanted together.  I was mad at myself for so long but I know now that if I hadn't gone to school I would have regretted it for the rest of my life.  Thank you, Aunt Cheryl, for waking me up and helping me see that.  The picture above is from Erik and Jackie's Eelkema's wedding.  It was such a beautiful event and I loved being with Kevin there.  I loved going to weddings with Kevin after we were married because I felt like we got to "show off" being husband and wife.  Kevin loved calling me his wife.  After we were married he would come home and say "how was my beautiful wife's day today?"  He was so proud to be my husband.  I miss that.