It was been an extremely emotional and exhausting  week. I feel like I am climbing an unpredictable mountain that has never been charted before. Some days are steep and it's hard to even get my footing, then someday I feel like I hit a small plateau and I'm able to enjoy the sun for a moment, then there are the holidays and special anniversary days.  On those days...and sometimes the whole week I feel like I am climbing the steepest part of the mountain while a storm also rages. Thanksgiving was definitely that time. I knew this would be hard from the beginning but somehow it seemed much harder than I anticipated. It was really hard for me to be thankful for anything this year. Which is not true. I am thankful for my amazing support system. Kevin and I have great friends and family that have been nothing but supportive and have helped me through this tragic time. I am also thankful for the love that I shared with Kevin and how loved he made me feel. I wouldn't take back a single day I ever had with him.

The pictures are from Thanksgiving last year. It was Kevin and I's first time hosting dinner so the pressure was on! We tried out recipes for weeks before so everything was perfect. We had a turkey baked in the oven and a deep fried turkey. Putting the turkey in the fryer was the main event of the day. I think everybody in the house gathered around to watch. When he lowered the turkey in...nothing happened. He stuck his finger in the oil and said "oops...I guess I should have turned the heater on first," then smiled with his goofy grin and laughed. I miss that laugh.