As the one year mark fast approaches I can't help but think about everything that was going on at this time last year. All our last conversations, the last skype calls, last text messages. It is so hard to believe that my biggest worry last year at this time was how I was going to do during finals week. I was so stressed out I pre-warned Kevin that I would be cranky, tired, and unable to talk for the majority of the week. He was always so caring and understanding. He always just wanted me to be happy.
I have had a struggle with making decisions the last 10 months (I think I deserve a pass for being undecisive), but it is mostly because I still ask myself: What would Kevin do? It doesn't matter if it is buying clothes or deciding what to do for the weekend...I still wonder what Kevin and I would have decided together. What restraunt to eat at, what shirt to buy, what movie to whatch to big life decisions...they were all things we would decide together. I know that no matter what I decide he would only want whats best for me and whatever would make me happy. It is a very difficult transition to go from a "we" to a "me" and I still have a long way to go before that transition is complete. I know that I will always think about him in the big decisions...but I have to start considering what is best for me, and me alone now. I was actually talking to Kevin out loud (yes I do this often, and no I'm not crazy) about this in the car on the way to the hospital yesterday and saying how easy it would be if he were here to help me cope with everything and a song came on. It's one that I've heard many times, but I think Kevin sent this one just for me at just the right time. It's called "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts. He wasn't perfect...but he was always my biggest fan and sometimes he always knew the right thing to say at just the right time.
"My Wish"
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big
No comments:
Post a Comment