The dictionary has two definitions of resilience: 1) the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity. 2) Ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy. We are into our psychiatric portion of classes right now (something that I have always been interested in) and yesterday the professor mentioned that resilient individuals have the ability to cope with extreme tragedy in a way that they will become better and stronger having gone through it. I believe I am resilient. Kevin was also very resilient. He had the ability to turn any situation into a positive one, and people just wanted to be around him. It's also why he was great at his job. Nothing phased him. The picture below is of him cutting a tree down on a fire the summer of 2007.

I have referred to my journey many times as a roller coaster, however, I also sometimes feel like I'm drowning in the ocean and grabbing for anything, or anyone to keep me afloat. The second definition of resilience mentions buoyancy, or the ability to stay afloat. This is where I am, I am simply buoyant right now. I'm not swimming gracefully, snorkeling for fun, or wake boarding on a hot afternoon...I am simply keeping my head above water. The definition of resiliency does give me hope, that someday in the future I will return to my original form after being compressed. However, I will never be 100% who I was because Kevin has changed me for the better in so many ways, he will always be apart of who I am.