I know I haven't written much in the last couple weeks but I have been very busy off and on (which is a good thing) and haven't had time to sit and gather my thoughts at times. This weekend was so great. I visited some very good friends of Kevin and I's in Utah, went shopping with my cousin, and had an amazing conversation with a young woman who is also currently going through the same journey as me. She is a little over two years out and offered such great wisdom and inspiration to me. We both agreed that through our circumstances God truly has put people and events in our life to help us through this uphill journey and get us to the other side. We still have the struggle, but we also have the angels to pick us up when we feel like we can no longer go on at times.

Shopping was also on my "much needed" list. I will be entering my rotations soon and my wardrobe still consists of sweats from basketball, jeans, and a few nice things I had from school shopping last year. I was in need of a major upgrade. My cousin Tyler, was a great shopping buddy! Not only did he have some great input on my fashion choices...but he also carried my bags!  What a guy! It was a successful day for my wardrobe and my soul : )

After Kevin died, I had a very hard time listening to music. Even now I will change the radio if I hear a certain song and just can't handle it at the moment. I have gotten much better and now I find myself actually listening to the lyrics of songs rather than just the music itself like I used to. There are songs that I have heard a hundred times before that take on a completely different meaning and truth to me. Today I heard Garth Brooks "The Dance." I've always known the lyrics, I've always been able to sing the entire song by heart...but today was the first time I actually "listened" to the lyrics with my heart.

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance

I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance