Today is hard. I don't really recognize it as the first day of the new year because for me a new year started on June 24th. That's when my life changed forever and today is just another day. Sun Valley has been a great gettaway but the grief didn't really hit me until I was alone. I still can't believe at times that he is gone and I have to learn how to deal with it on my own. The waves still come in and sometimes are just as hard as in the beginning. I think what has changed is my ability to recognize the wave and deal with it. I have learned my own coping skills that allow me to take control of the grief and direct it where I want it to go. I have no control over when they come...but I have total control over what to do when they come. For me, just simply being outside and moving helps. I went for a long walk around the resort and noticed my attitude about today and life in general change from sadness and depression to being hopeful and motivated.

Exactly one year ago we were driving to the east coast. Sirius radio had the top 100 country songs of the year and we were in the car so long we listened to every one of them. We played a game to see who could guess the number one song and whoever came the closest got to choose what dinner the other had to cook for them when we got to Manchester. We both chose a seafood dinner complete with Lobster, bacon wrapped scallops, and shrimp scampi. He won (of course) and chose the exact song, I think it was a Lady Antebellum song. In the end he helped cook the whole dinner anyway. He was such a good cook and loved that we could cook together.

The picture above was taken at Kevin's Uncle and Aunt's (Mike and Lynn) house in Woodland Park, CO on January 1, 2010 when we stopped in to visit with them on the way to Manchester.