Somewhere in between the grieving, attempting to cover up the grieving and all the Christmas events...I got sick. I could feel this coming simply because it had to at some point. I have been going nonstop for about three weeks now once I had a minute to slow down it all caught up with me. I survived Christmas and now it is time for New Years...just one more first down, 6 more months of them to go. I am definitely changing and I have more moments into the glimpses of my old self. It is crazy to look at photographs and wonder who that person even was at times. I feel like I've aged 10 years at times.

I am back in Boise for now and headed to Sun Valley for New Years for some much needed time with the girls to ring in the new year. Alot of people have said to me "I hope 2012 is better for you." I also hope it is a better year, however, Kevin is still not here so it doesn't change how I feel about 2012. It is very sad to me that he never got to see 2012. The year he was supposed to turn 25, the year I will graduate, the year our life was finally going to start. That is what 2012 is to me, the year we were supposed to take off...instead...it is a year that I am continuing to start over.