I would definitely be lying if I said today is easy. It's not only Christmas Eve, it's also been 6 months. It has been a flood of emotions throughout the day and it all started yesterday. I have been trying to keep myself busy by helping families in need have a joyful Christmas because it is hard to find any myself. I just keep picturing him sitting by me and laughing about our family and making inside jokes. Kevin truly was my best friend. We shared everything, we talked about everything, we had no secrets. We could laugh for hours about nothing at all. We knew each other. I miss him more than ever at this time. I have heard so many sad stories the last couple days about wives who have lost their husbands or children recently and my heart aches for them. This is the most heart wrenching "first" I have to get through this year. I just pray for the families and friends that are also hurting this holiday. I have hope in my heart that it gets better and someday Christmas will be filled with joy again. This time around I just really miss him.

The picture above was taken on Christmas Eve last year. I remember Kevin laughing because you couldn't even see Belle in the picture. That night we played Apples to Apples and Smart Ass with Lucas, Jacob, Theresa and Dominique. I'm pretty sure he won every game we played (of course). It was such a fun night spent with family.