Coming home to a room full of Kevin's things hit me like a ton of bricks.  The reality that I will never see him wear these clothes again is too much at times.  My heart aches that I can't share my break with him and see his smiling face.  I have gotten to the point where I have at least good moments every day.  Everyday is still hard to face but it is easier to get out of bed.  We had so many plans for our future that I can't look past what I'm doing next week because I know he won't be in my plans anymore.  I know he's with me every step of the way in this journey but I just want to scream sometimes that he should be with me on earth, not in heaven.  I have been reading stories from the Wildland Figherfighter Foundation from families who have lost their loved ones.  It is both sad and comforting to know that so many people have gone through what Kevin's friends, family, and me are going through right now.  We can find comfort in each other and help each other through this.  Kevin loved to be around friends and family and we should honor his memory by doing the same.

John 14:27    "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."